What's happening this Weekend?
A guide to Sydney's night life:
If you love to skip around like a kangaroo on heat, with sunnies on (to avoid the harsh laser/strobe lighting) listening to doof, doof music all night, go to The Globe, Home or Chinese Laundry.
If you think you are too cool for school or a bit of a glamour puss, head to upstairs Cargo, Bungalow 8, The Loft or Ruby Rabbit for instant street cred. You will think you're so stylish, no matter how much of a wannabe-who-never-will-be you really are.
If you want to get laid by a cheap and easy backpacker, your best bet is the Coogee Bay Hotel or Kings Cross Hotel... only a short stroll away from her hostel dorm room too, which is mighty convenient.
If you have no luck there head for the city and go to Scruffy Murphy's, PJ OBRIEN's or any other pub with an Irish name.
If you want to try your luck competing with 30 something year olds for some of that glamour tail, go to the Sackville or any other pub in Balmain.
If action and a bit of blood is what you like, head down to the Brooklyn Hotel (aka The Fight Club) or The Commercial at Parramatta where you are always guaranteed to witness or be involved in a WWF Smackdown style brawl.
If you're a wanker with money to match your inflated ego, suit up and hit The Establishment, Aqua Luna Bar or Hugo's Lounge where you'll have no problems finding a young blonde 30 years your junior quite willing to put up with your money.
If you're keen to see a first grade footballer off his chops at 6am on a Sunday morning dazed and confused, look no further than The Empire Hotel in Kings Cross.
If you are fresh of the boat from NZ or any other Pacific Island, head straight to "Burgundys" on level 3 of City RSL where you will feel right at home amongst your coconut cousins. You will swear that this is the choicest club you've ever been to bro!
If you wanna pick up within the first 10 minutes of arriving, you can always try the vast array of easy chicks at St Pats, The Orient, Jacksons on George, The Metropole or The Forbes.
For the young North Shore teens, Wallaby Bar or The Greenwood hotel are the places to be seen. Make sure you're wearing your funkiest threads, no matter how mismatched they may look. And be sure to return daddy's BMW home safely and in one piece. If you're older than 20, you're too old to be here.
For the over 20 year old North Shore chums downstairs Cargo is your graduation from Wallaby Bar, even when your 35! Here you're guaranteed to see everyone who used to go to Wallaby!
Now we all know that you can pretty much walk into any Sydney nightclub and see Lebs - you just can't escape them! But for a truly Authentic Lebo experience, head to Rogues (Friday nights especially) where you could find the habibi of your dreams. Special "cultural" entertainment includes belly-dancers and wicked Arabic beats.
If you want to see the absolute scum of the earth - go to The Bridge Hotel in Rozelle after 5am on a Sunday morning... it's a junkies paradise.
If you're extremely under age, try Goodbar on Oxford Street, where ID is not necessary.
If you like to wear chambray shirts tucked neatly into your chino pants with your brown leather "boat" shoes, and still "bond" with your old private school mates, head to the Oaks in Neutral Bay or the Golden Sheaf in Double Bay where you and your mates can talk rugby and drink schooners til your heart's content.
If you're the type of guy who loves to get his shirt off and strut his newly waxed chest/back/abs on the podium, step this way for UN.
Yo Yo Yo... wassup! If you and your homeboys/girls wanna listen to some phat-ass hip hop tunez, find yourself some chocolate lovin, or just wanna hang out with a whole lot of ghetto superstar wannabes, then the RnB SuperClub, Mocha, Mothership or Gas is the place for you.
And if you believe you live in "God's country" and are a tradesman, surfer, professional athlete, or anyone else who generally worships all things sun, surf and beer, you'll want to head to one of the many bogan bars in the "Shire" - Northies being the most notorious and hosting the most 'Miss...' competitions.
If you love to skip around like a kangaroo on heat, with sunnies on (to avoid the harsh laser/strobe lighting) listening to doof, doof music all night, go to The Globe, Home or Chinese Laundry.
If you think you are too cool for school or a bit of a glamour puss, head to upstairs Cargo, Bungalow 8, The Loft or Ruby Rabbit for instant street cred. You will think you're so stylish, no matter how much of a wannabe-who-never-will-be you really are.
If you want to get laid by a cheap and easy backpacker, your best bet is the Coogee Bay Hotel or Kings Cross Hotel... only a short stroll away from her hostel dorm room too, which is mighty convenient.
If you have no luck there head for the city and go to Scruffy Murphy's, PJ OBRIEN's or any other pub with an Irish name.
If you want to try your luck competing with 30 something year olds for some of that glamour tail, go to the Sackville or any other pub in Balmain.
If action and a bit of blood is what you like, head down to the Brooklyn Hotel (aka The Fight Club) or The Commercial at Parramatta where you are always guaranteed to witness or be involved in a WWF Smackdown style brawl.
If you're a wanker with money to match your inflated ego, suit up and hit The Establishment, Aqua Luna Bar or Hugo's Lounge where you'll have no problems finding a young blonde 30 years your junior quite willing to put up with your money.
If you're keen to see a first grade footballer off his chops at 6am on a Sunday morning dazed and confused, look no further than The Empire Hotel in Kings Cross.
If you are fresh of the boat from NZ or any other Pacific Island, head straight to "Burgundys" on level 3 of City RSL where you will feel right at home amongst your coconut cousins. You will swear that this is the choicest club you've ever been to bro!
If you wanna pick up within the first 10 minutes of arriving, you can always try the vast array of easy chicks at St Pats, The Orient, Jacksons on George, The Metropole or The Forbes.
For the young North Shore teens, Wallaby Bar or The Greenwood hotel are the places to be seen. Make sure you're wearing your funkiest threads, no matter how mismatched they may look. And be sure to return daddy's BMW home safely and in one piece. If you're older than 20, you're too old to be here.
For the over 20 year old North Shore chums downstairs Cargo is your graduation from Wallaby Bar, even when your 35! Here you're guaranteed to see everyone who used to go to Wallaby!
Now we all know that you can pretty much walk into any Sydney nightclub and see Lebs - you just can't escape them! But for a truly Authentic Lebo experience, head to Rogues (Friday nights especially) where you could find the habibi of your dreams. Special "cultural" entertainment includes belly-dancers and wicked Arabic beats.
If you want to see the absolute scum of the earth - go to The Bridge Hotel in Rozelle after 5am on a Sunday morning... it's a junkies paradise.
If you're extremely under age, try Goodbar on Oxford Street, where ID is not necessary.
If you like to wear chambray shirts tucked neatly into your chino pants with your brown leather "boat" shoes, and still "bond" with your old private school mates, head to the Oaks in Neutral Bay or the Golden Sheaf in Double Bay where you and your mates can talk rugby and drink schooners til your heart's content.
If you're the type of guy who loves to get his shirt off and strut his newly waxed chest/back/abs on the podium, step this way for UN.
Yo Yo Yo... wassup! If you and your homeboys/girls wanna listen to some phat-ass hip hop tunez, find yourself some chocolate lovin, or just wanna hang out with a whole lot of ghetto superstar wannabes, then the RnB SuperClub, Mocha, Mothership or Gas is the place for you.
And if you believe you live in "God's country" and are a tradesman, surfer, professional athlete, or anyone else who generally worships all things sun, surf and beer, you'll want to head to one of the many bogan bars in the "Shire" - Northies being the most notorious and hosting the most 'Miss...' competitions.
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